A little rant about eating disorder myths

Recently, while on a Facebook page regarding eating disorders I noticed a few comments some people had made about eating disorders and thin people. One said, "It was great when Dove soap starting using real women in their ads" and another said, "It's just time to wake up and see that a size 0 is just sick! We need more people to join our fight!" (They were both men, by the way)

Okay. First off, let me start by saying it's comments like that that make me think just for one tiny second that I can't fight this fight anymore. It's too big and too deep and too tall for just little ol' me to lend a hand. However, then I squash that pesky voice and take two steps at a time up on my soapbox:

"It was great when Dove soap starting using real women in their ads"

ALL women are REAL women. Did you hear me? ALL of us. It doesn't matter if you are a size zero, eyeball deep in an eating disorder or naturally a size zero and healthy. Or if you are a size 24, or if you wear a triple XL, or anywhere in between. When we start to use terms like "real" we judge everyone else and we are no better off than companies like Victoria's Secret who only use ultra thin models in their ads. (I think that the commenter got confused when referring to Dove ads. Dove started the Real Beauty Campaign, not Real Women).

"It's just time to wake up and see that a size 0 is just sick! We need more people to join our fight!"

A size zero is NOT sick. Someone that suffers from an eating disorder is sick. And by sick, I mean ill. An eating disorder is no different than any other mental illness that needs to be treated by a medical professional. I know several women that are a size zero or close to it, that are perfectly healthy, do not starve themselves to be thin, nor do they participate in any other behavior that warrants an eating disorder status. They are judged for being thin, people assume they are starving, and are even disliked merely because of their size. No matter that they are smart, giving, kind, generous human beings. In America, they're "skinny bitches" naturally, so they deserve to be crapped on?!?!? To the commenter that said this: I will never join your "fight". You're ridiculous. Get informed before you make such ludicrous statements.

Eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes. It is a huge misconception that only the skeletal and emaciated have eating disorders. That they're the only ones that need help or that die. Yes, I said it: Die. Eating disorders kill. And rarely do you see on a death certificate; cause of death: Eating Disorder. It's complications from it, including cardiac arrest, electrolyte imbalance, malnutrition (that can cause kidney failure and respiratory infections), hyponatremia and dehydration, just to name a few. (For a full list, click here). What someone looks like does not tell you they need help. They don't walk around with a tattoo on their forehead that says, "Hey everybody! I have ED!" They look like you and me.

If you read my post a few weeks back on EDNOS, you know that one-third to one-half of all diagnosed eating disorders fall under the diagnosis of EDNOS. It's so important to know these symptoms, so you or someone you love can get help. This is not a joke. We need to open our eyes and see that people are dying from this. It's very real. But, there is hope and help.

Katherine Switzer

March is Women's History Month and with so many amazing women who have made a difference in our world, choosing one to write about is difficult. So, I decided to write about one you many not have heard of.

A few years ago I read that up until 1984 women were not allowed to participate in the Olympic Marathon competition. I was floored. This was in my lifetime that women were actually not allowed to participate. I thought by the time I was born in 1975, we were long past this, however I was wrong. As runner myself, this both fascinated and angered me and I wanted to know more. Upon researching, I came across Katherine Switzer, who has become my own personal hero. The following story is from the book, "The Spirit of the Marathon" by Gail Waesche Kislevitz. This story makes me emotional, gives me goosebumps, especially to see the pictures of what happened. Perhaps because when I read it I put myself in Katherine's shoes. As a woman, an athlete, it makes me so proud of Katherine, what she stands for and what an amazing role model she is for young girls and women everywhere. So, please sit back and read the whole story. It's well worth it!

Life is for Participating

by Gail Waesche Kislevitz

Kathrine Switzer
D.O.B.: 1-5-47
Residence: New York/New Zealand
Occupation: Program Director, Avon Running, Global Women's Circuit;
Director, Women's Health and Fitness, RYKA
First Marathon: 1967 Boston Marathon, Boston, MA
Age at first marathon: 20

Every time a female runner enters a marathon, a small offering should be made to Kathrine Switzer. Through her tenacity, stubbornness and belief that women can too run 26.2, she scaled the male bastion of the Boston Marathon that barred women from its race and helped to open its doors to women, which it officially did in 1972. Switzer then put her degree in journalism and her love for running to good use and furthered the cause for women in sports through her work at Avon and RYKA shoes. When not traveling the globe promoting women's walking and running, Kathrine can be found taking her daily run through Central Park. Among her many citations and awards for her work to advance women's sports is the Runner of the Decade commendation from Runner's World magazine. She was also honored as a member of the inaugural class of the National Distance Running Hall of Fame.

"When I was twelve years old I wanted to be a cheerleader. Like many pre-pubescent girls I thought if I were a cheerleader I would be popular and boys would ask me out and I would end up dating the captain of the football team. When I told my dad of my aspiration he looked at me and said, 'You don't want to be a cheerleader. That's silly. Life is for participating not spectating. The cheerleaders lead cheers. You should play sports and have people cheer for you. You like to run and be active. Why don't you go out for field hockey?' I wasn't a tomboy, but I always thought a girl could do anything a boy could so I took his advice to heart. My mother was a great role model in that sense as she did everything. She worked a professional job, cooked the meals, tended a garden and raised us to believe there were no limitations on what we could do. My dad supported that and encouraged us to think beyond traditional roles.

With my dad's encouragement, I started to get in shape for field hockey by running a mile. No one ran on the streets back in 1959. The only runners I knew were the track and cross-country runners at school. But when I realized that running did in fact build my endurance, it became my secret weapon. I knew it would make me better at other sports. I didn't know anything about training or conditioning, but I knew that running was the key. By high school, I was up to 3 miles and felt like the cock of the walk. No girl I knew anywhere could run three miles a day.

I continued playing field hockey at Lynchburg College in Virginia but was somewhat disappointed in the skills and commitment of the other women. Most of them were not very dedicated to the sport and didn't care whether we won or lost. I cared deeply and played hard, taking practice and the games very seriously. After practice I would run a mile. When the coach found out she got very angry, accusing me of not working hard enough at practice if I still had the energy to run a mile afterwards. What she didn't understand was that mile was my alone time, my solace. One day while I was finishing up my mile, the men's track coach approached me and asked if I would run a mile on the men's team. There was a big meet coming up and he needed another member on the team to qualify and I looked like I could do it. I had no problem with that and agreed. Well, all hell broke out when word got out that a woman was going to run on the men's team. Lynchburg was a small religious-affiliated school and I was doing something almost sacrilegious. On the day of the meet, the campus and field was swarming with local and national media to capture me, this woman, who dared run with men.

The media hype made me nervous and I knew I had to do well to uphold my athletic honor. I finished the mile in 5:58 and was pleased. But I wasn't thrilled with some of the hate mail I received over the incident, telling me God will strike me dead for running with men. I learned a valuable lesson that day. I was being judged not on my athletic ability but on being a woman. It dawned on me for the first time that there would be no sports programs for me after college. Either it just wasn't done or it wasn't available. Billie Jean King had just come out as a professional woman's tennis player and there were some female golf pros, but those sports didn't interest me. Since I loved sports but didn't feel I could participate on a professional level I decided to become a sports journalist and transferred to Syracuse University in 1966.

I was still serious about my running and wanted to continue it at Syracuse. Along the way, running had evolved from being my secret weapon to my first love. It was something I could do by myself, didn't cost anything, didn't need a lot of equipment and I loved being outdoors. I was also good at it. I knew that running was going to be a lifetime sport for me. I've often felt that if field hockey were an Olympic sport I would have stayed with it because I did love it and never would have become a runner. But those avenues were not available to women back in the early sixties. Women today have so many choices, from soccer to basketball to snowboarding, almost anything they desire. For me, it was running.

At Syracuse I went to see the men's cross country coach and asked if I could run on the team since there wasn't a women's team. He looked at me a bit startled and said, 'I've been coaching for thirty years and have never had a woman ask to be on the team. I can't let you run officially because it is against the NCAA rules but you are welcome to come and work out with us.' With that, I started running with the team but was miles behind them. That's when I met Arnie Briggs, who was the postman for the University. He finished his job at three in the afternoon and then worked out with the team. He did this for years until finally he became the unofficial manager of the team. He was also a marathon runner and had run the Boston Marathon fifteen times. When I met him he was fifty to my nineteen. He had a bad knee and all sorts of injuries but could still run slowly, which was faster than what my pace was. And of course, he still had the endurance for long runs. He was excited that a girl was with the team and sort of adopted me. Actually I think he felt sorry for me because as soon as the team headed out for their runs, I would lose sight of them and wouldn't know where to go. He took me under his wing and taught me about running.

In the winter when the team went indoors for training, Arnie and I stayed outside and ran in the cold and the snow. We were running six to ten miles a night and Arnie would keep me entertained with stories of the Boston Marathon. He'd tell me tales of Clarence DeMar, John Kelley the Elder, John Kelley the Younger, Tarzan Brown, all the legends. I was entranced and fascinated. Finally, one snowy night I said let's stop talking about Boston and just go and run the damn thing. He turned to me and said, 'Women can't run the Boston Marathon. Women aren't capable of running 26.2 miles. It's the law of diminishing returns.' I told him he was crazy, that if I could run 10 miles, why couldn't I run 26? He HAD to believe a woman could do it, because I had read in Sports Illustrated that Bobbie (Roberta) Gibb had run the Boston Marathon in 1966. She hid in the bushes until half the runners had passed and then slipped into the pack. She finished but her time was not recorded as she didn't wear a race number and was not officially entered in the race. When I told this to Arnie, he was enraged and didn't believe it. I was deeply upset at his reaction. I felt our friendship was at a crossroad if he truly didn't believe a woman could run a marathon after all the training and the long runs we had enjoyed together. He thought it over for a while and said that if any woman could run the distance, he believed it was me, and if I could prove to him that I could indeed run 26.2 miles, he would personally take me to Boston.

Now I had a coach and a goal and it was all business from them on. I trained consistently and bumped up the long runs from 15 miles to 17 to 18 miles and so on. It wasn't always easy. At my first attempt at 18 miles I hit the wall. But I kept going and finally we set the day to run 26.2 miles. I was hot to trot, so excited. It was an early April day with snow still on the ground. We mapped out about four 10K loops and as we were finishing up the last loop, Arnie turned and said, 'I can't believe you are going to make it. You are really going to complete a marathon.' It was such a big deal for me. All of a sudden I put on the brakes and said, 'What if we mismeasured the course and we're short of 26.2 miles?' I wanted to be absolutely sure of the distance and began to doubt we had measured accurately. Just to be totally sure, I wanted to add another 5 miles. Arnie was astonished, but said if I could do it, he could do it. During the last five miles of this now 31-mile run, Arnie began weaving back and forth, his legs like jelly. I put my arm through his and steadied him for the last mile. Back at the car, our finish line, I threw my arms around him and slapped him on the back screaming that we were on our way to Boston, and he passed out.

The next day he came over to my dorm with the race entry form. I knew that Bobbi Gibb didn't wear a number, so I somehow thought I'd just show up and run. Oh no, said Arnie, Boston is a serious race, you are a serious runner, you are a member of the Amateur Athletic Union (AAU), and you don't mess with Boston. You have to do it right and officially register. I wondered if it might be against some rule, remembering that I was allowed to run in the conference at Lynchburg College but not with the NCAA at Syracuse University. Arnie had anticipated the question and had the current AAU Rulebook with him. The book listed "Men's Track and Field Events," "Women's Track and Field Events," and then a third category, "The Marathon," which listed nothing about gender. We laughed that nobody would think about a woman running a marathon since only crazy men ran it anyway!

The application also called for a medical certificate. In lieu of that I could have opted to have an onsite physical exam at Boston, but Arnie didn't think I'd want to stand in a hallway with a bunch of naked men getting a physical. So I went to the Syracuse Infirmary for my physical and got the medical certificate signed. Anyway, I filled out the entry, plunked down my $3 entry fee, and signed my name, K.V. Switzer.

Now, the reason I signed K.V. Switzer instead of Kathrine is because I always signed my name that way. Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to be a writer and K.V. was going to be my signature name. It seemed to my young mind then that all the good writers used their initials like J.D. Salinger, E.E.Cummings, T.S. Elliot, W.B. Yeats -- so ever since I was twelve I signed all my papers K.V. Switzer, thinking I was totally cool. It was my signature.

Arnie sent my application in with the rest of the track guys from Syracuse who were also planning on running the marathon. Actually, I was the only one who had really trained. That night, I went out with my boyfriend Tom Miller, who was a graduate student and a hammer thrower. He was very amused with all this and would ask me how my 'jogging' was going. When I told him I was running the Boston Marathon, he fell down laughing. He said if I could run a marathon he could too and decided to sign up. He weighed 235 pounds but that didn't discourage him. He just felt if I could do it he could. To prove his point he went out and ran nine miles and declared he was ready. So we all go to Boston.

The day of the race was horrible. Sleeting, snowing, windy and cold. All the runners had on big baggy sweats with windbreakers and hoods. I wore my worst stuff because Arnie said when we got warmed up we'd throw away our old sweats and just leave them behind. As I pinned on my number, the other runners around me noticed I was a woman and got very excited and supportive. They thought it was great that a woman was going to run Boston. We all lined up to go through the starting pen and as I went through the pen, I had to lift my sweatshirt to show my number. Will Cloney himself, the co-race director, pushed me through the starting gate. More people were noticing I was female and congratulated me, all very supportive and excited for me. Arnie, my boyfriend Tom, John Leonard from our cross country team and I were in a little group. Our plan was to stay together for a while but if anyone wanted to split off we would meet at the finish. The race starts and off we go.

Four miles into the race, the media flatbed truck loaded with photographers came through and we all had to get out of the way to let it pass. A bus followed the truck with the journalists and on that bus were co-race directors Will Cloney and Jock Semple. The photographers saw me first and started shouting, 'There's a girl in the race,' and then slowed up in front of us and started taking pictures. By now, I'd thrown away my top sweatshirt and my hair was flying. I didn't try to disguise my gender at all. Heck, I was so proud of myself I was wearing lipstick! When the journalists saw me, they started teasing Jock that a girl had infiltrated his race. They looked up my number and saw K. Switzer and started heckling Jock some more. 'She doesn't look like a Karl,' they'd say. Their bus was still behind us. I was unaware what was going on behind me as we were waving at the photographers in front of us.

Jock was well known for his violent temper. He seethed for awhile, and then he erupted. He jumped off the bus and went after me. I saw him just before he pounced, and let me tell you, I was scared to death. He was out of control. I jumped away from him as he grabbed for me, but he caught me by the shoulder and spun me around, and screamed, 'Get the hell out of my race and give me that race number.' I tried to get away from him but he had me by the shirt. It was like being in a bad dream. Arnie tried to wrestle Jock away from me but was having a hard time himself and then Tom, my 235-pound boyfriend came to the rescue and smacked Jock with a cross body block and Jock went flying through the air. At first, I thought we had killed him. I was stunned and didn't know what to do, but then Arnie just looked at me and said, 'Run like hell,' and I did as the photographers snapped away and the scribes recorded the event for posterity.


The rest is history. My infamous run at the 1967 Boston Marathon is recorded as unofficial and does not post a time, although it was around 4:20:00. Despite that the BAA wanted nothing to do with me, the fact that I ran with a number made headlines around the world. The New York Times reported the story but inadvertently said I didn't finish. I was furious and personally called the reporter to correct his mistake, saying just because you filed your story while I was still out running didn't mean I didn't finish! It was this incident as much as any other that made me determined to become a better runner, to prove I could also be a real athlete, as I certainly never was a quitter and even with all the dreadful stuff at Boston I would have finished that race on my hands and knees to prove that a woman could do it.

Afterwards, I decided to use this experience to insure that other women who wanted to run would not be subjected to the same treatment. I became an organizer and an outspoken proponent for women's physical capability. The first thing I did when Arnie and I got back to Syracuse was form The Syracuse Track Club and encouraged women to join. We staged regular meets with full opportunities for women. I felt the most important thing I could do for women was to create the forum for their acceptance in sports.

Back in Boston, Bobbi Gibb continued to run without a number, as did the other women who were coming on the scene as well. In 1969 three women including Nina Kuscsik, ran unofficially. I stayed away from Boston until 1970. That year, four other women also ran. This time they recorded my time, 3:34. By 1971, myself, Nina Kusisck and Sara Mae Berman ran Boston and afterwards we united our efforts to try and force the arm of the Boston Athletic Association (BAA) to officially allow women to run. We wanted to lift the ban in Boston as well as the exclusion of women running long distance in the Olympics, including the women's marathon.

Finally, in 1972, for the first time ever women were officially welcome to run the Boston Marathon. It was a big breakthrough - at last we could be ATHLETES. After this momentous decision, I continued fighting for women's rights in sports, but for awhile I moved my concentration on being an athlete to my first priority. I was 25 years old and knew I had a window of opportunity left and trained my brains out. I didn't want to get to be 40 and not have tried to go all out. I'd do a 20 or 27 miler every Sunday just to be ready for anything. Some years I did 7 or 8 marathons a year. Probably too much but guess what? I got good! I went back to Boston eight times, and ran a personal best of 2:51:37 in 1975. I also won the New York City Marathon in 1974. When I ran my 2:51 I was thrilled. I though of the time I could only run a mile, then 3 miles, than ran my first marathon at 4:20 only five years ago and here I broke the three hour mark. I am constantly amazed at what the human body can do. Really, I felt if I could do it on my limited talent, I thought thousands of women could do it, and they really deserved the chance to try.

And after running the 2:51, I really wanted to concentrate on making that happen. I was hoping it could become my career, too, somehow. I parlayed my journalism and writing skills with running and set out on a career in public relations and sports marketing promoting races, doing sports writing which evolved into doing TV commentary of running events. I also created the Avon Running Global Women's Circuit, a series of running events for women in many countries. I am most proud of this program because it led in great part to the inclusion of a women's marathon in the 1984 Olympics Games. At the same time, the Avon program and the work I do with RYKA women's sports shoes has allowed me to introduce running to women in 30 countries around the world, giving them the tools, the motivation and the courage to run or walk a race. I've seen 400- pound women show up at a clinic with sullen faces of disbelief, wearing flip flops and eleven weeks later they are sporting smiles and a medal around their necks from their first race.

As an aside, Jock Semple and I became great friends. Five years after the 1967 event he had to welcome me, as well as all the women, as official competitors in the 1972 race and he was very impressed with our performances. We grew from there. For example, in the late seventies I was invited to Boston for a book signing on a book about his life, called "Just Call Me Jock". The promoters of the event thought it would be funny to surprise Jock during his talk by having me jump out from behind the curtains, wearing a gray sweat suit just like the one in the infamous 1967 marathon, and yell 'Get outta here, you're not official, give me that book.' He was certainly surprised and his first reaction was to bop me but when he realized it was a joke, he joined in and enjoyed himself.

I have been lucky in life. I had my parents and Arnie telling me I could do anything I wanted. As a female, I was never resigned to just playing with dolls or only being the cheerleader. Yes, I played with dolls and wore dresses but also climbed trees and played sports with a vengeance. After my experience in Boston, I realized there are plenty of women in the world who grow up without that support and without realizing the sky is their only limit. I wanted to reach those women and do something to change their lives.

All you need is the courage to believe in yourself and put one foot in front of the other."

Photo by Harry Trask for AP Images.

My sincerest of thank yous...

It's been a little over a year and a half since I started this blog. When I sat down to write my first post I had no idea where it would take me. I knew it would involve my coaching career, and I knew I had something to say about things I felt strongly about, but I never envisioned it to become what it's become. I know I don't have a ton of readers like other bloggers out there, and I'm okay with that. In fact, it still humbles me when I get an email from someone in another country or even where I live, saying they found my blog and something I wrote touched them in some way. It makes me still want to call my mom and tell her. And sometimes I do.

So, I'd like to say thank you. Thank you to all who read, even if you've just read one post. The fact that you took time to read my words, thoughts, ideas and sometimes rants means everything to me. When I was a little girl, scribbling poetry or short stories I would dream of this day; when what I wrote was important to someone, anyone. It's such an amazing gift to me. I've kept writing because of the emails, the comments, the love. My goal is to help others and as a side effect I've grown tremendously writing about my struggles and sharing with you my life lessons. I hope I've inspired you, my readers, to embrace life with all your might. So, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Photo courtesy of ohmann alianne

Something you should know about Eating Disorders and EDNOS

Recently, I came across a great article on one of my favorite blogs, Venus Vision, where the author talked about EDNOS, or Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. I linked the article to my Facebook page because I think this is so important for people to know about. I had never heard of EDNOS until I stumbled upon the website, Finding Balance, and when reading it, I felt overwhelmed, but relieved. Finally what I had struggled with had a name. I couldn't hide anymore. It forced me to admit to myself and to others that my behaviors around food and exercise were not normal. They were also dangerous and connected to other issues I had. I felt like a big piece of the puzzle had finally fallen into place and it allowed me to see the big picture of my life, and move forward in correcting negative behaviors.

A few days after I posted the link, I received this email from an acquaintance of mine:

I followed your link recently about EDNOS. As a woman that has always struggled with body image, in spite of being what I consider an otherwise secure and well adjusted individual, it's comforting to know that I'm not alone. By the numbers, I am doing okay..but I obsess over every pound gained or lost, the tightness or looseness of my clothes, the food I put in my body. When vegetarianism wasn't enough, I cut out eggs and dairy. When that didn't seem like enough, I cut out all processed foods. When that didn't seem like enough, I cut out anything fried. To many people around me, this seems unnecessary, but it's the only way I feel in control. When I feel bothered by television or print ads featured "beautiful" women, I restrict myself more.

Over the last 7 years or so I've gained and lost, then lost and lost and lost. I'm the same size I was when I was a teenager, much smaller than I was 5 years ago, and I still worry every moment: this is flabby, that is saggy...I have adolescent anxiety about my body at age 32. But I don't binge and purge, I don't starve myself. Instead, I monitor everything. I count calories, I fret going on vacation and not being able to control my food, I'm compulsive about exercise...all things associated with EDNOS.”

It's tough getting emails like these. On one hand I'm happy I have touched someone's life, and I pray that they can help themselves or seek the help they need. On the other hand, it makes me sad to know that for one email I get, there are at least 10 that read it and can relate, but didn't tell me, and probably hundreds of thousands that are suffering, but don't know what they're suffering from.

According to Edward J. Cumella, PhD, “Somewhere between one-third and one-half of diagnosed eating disorders have EDNOS. The important thing to know about EDNOS is that it is a serious medical and psychological condition. It can be just as deadly as anorexia can be....It is important that people with EDNOS are diagnosed properly and get the treatment they need.”

People with EDNOS come in ALL shapes and sizes. ALL ethnicities, ALL ages and BOTH men and women,(as do all eating disorders). Direct from the Finding Balance website:

Persons struggling with EDNOS can range from 'less-extreme' behaviors like common dieting, frequent concern about body size, and/or occasional overeating, to more extreme behaviors including frequent purging, obsessive dieting, obsessive exercising and more.

Just because a person doesn't fit the criteria for anorexia or bulimia does not mean they don't have an eating disorder requiring attention. And don't be fooled by appearances; most disordered eaters are normal weight or overweight, not skinny. But they can still struggle as seriously as an anorexic or underweight bulimic.

In fact, many who struggle in the EDNOS category are at risk for the same dangers as those who meet criteria for other disorders, including the risk of heart attacks, dehydration, electrolyte imbalance and even death.

REGARDLESS OF WHERE YOU FALL ON THE EATING CONTINUUM, if your motivations regarding food and exercise are based on 'psychic' rather than 'physical' needs, you need to know that your struggle is important, and worthy of seeking out appropriate medical and/or therapeutic assistance.

I believe EDNOS is much more common than any of us know. Any time we allow diets, our weight, food or exercise run our life, we are robbing ourselves of precious time. Our society has made dieting, weight and obsessing about food a normal, everyday occurrence.

In the past, the reason I never got help for my disordered eating was because I thought my behaviors were normal and not dangerous. They were inconsistent, so I thought I was okay. I would go through long periods of normal eating and exercise, then plunge into disordered eating during times of crisis, stress, or even if I wanted to lose just a few pounds. What I saw in the media, in movies and news stories of what an eating disorder looked like wasn't me, so I thought I was doing well compared to that.

This post is merely informative. If you or someone you know could be suffering from EDNOS or any other eating disorder, there is help and hope.

Chelsea King

If you don't already know, or if you're not living in this part of the country, today, March 2nd, 2010 has been a very sad day. Chelsea King, a 17 year old teenager was found dead near Lake Hodges. Our worst fears came true this afternoon. We all held out hope that she would be found alive and well and return home to her parents. But, that didn't happen.

Chelsea went out for a run last Thursday and never returned home. Found murdered in a shallow grave. The man in custody who allegedly committed this crime is a registered sex offender who was released after a 5 year sentence when a psychiatrist that evaluated him wrote a report saying he would likely re-offend.

So, why am I writing about it? Did I know her? No, I didn't. I grew up in Rancho Penasquitos, a small community right next door to the community where Chelsea lived in Poway. I lived in Poway for many years as well. I am also a runner, like Chelsea. I used to go running around Poway Lake alone, and my boyfriend at the time would get angry and tell me "You don't know who's out there! You can't go there alone." and I would get angry. Angry that he thought I couldn't defend myself. I hated being "Just a girl" and having to "watch out for myself".

And then this happened in our very own backyard practically and struck a chord with all of us. I ache for her parents. My heart is broken for anyone that loved her and wanted nothing more than to see her finish her life. What happened to Chelsea could have happened to me. It could have happened to you. So, I'm not one to sit around and do nothing. Here's what you can do:

  • Find registered sex offenders in your neighborhood. The link is for California is here. For all other states in the U.S., click here.
  • Get free alerts when a sex offender moves into your area. Click here.
  • Do a background check on ANYONE you think you need to, including sex offenders. This way you can find out their specific offense. It's not free, but worth the money. Click here.
  • You can call or write a letter to California Congressman Brian Bilbray. Nothing fancy, just tell him what you think of the sex offender laws. Click here. You can also call or write to California State Assemblyman Nathan Fletcher. Click here.
  • Contact your own federal and state congresspeople. Each letter/phone call is a representative of a certain number of voters. The more contacts there are from voters in their district, the more attention they will give to the issue. Click here. (Thank you Sacha for this one!)
  • Take self defense classes! I might think I'm a bad-ass, but I am not match for a 200 pound man who comes up behind me with a knife. There are several in San Diego, one I found in La Jolla and another that travels to you if you can get a group of 12-20 women. How easy is that?
It burns me that I live in a place where it is unsafe for me to go out alone. Or that I feel uneasy letting my children play out of my sight. But, we have power. Do something, do ANYTHING!

Beautiful Blogger Award

I am so honored to have been giving the "Beautiful Blogger Award" by none other than Julie Parker, author of one of my favorite blogs: Beautiful You by Julie. Thanks, Julie!! To claim this award I have to regift it to 15 blogs I love and read and so the awards go to:

To claim my prestigious award I also have to tell you seven things about me, so I'll try to tell you seven things that may surprise you. Or maybe not? Drumroll please.....

  1. I was a painfully shy child. The kind that hid behind my mothers leg if someone said hello to me. Quite the opposite now.
  2. Having children deeply changed who I am. I was a conservative republican (okay, I just heard some jaws hit the table) and some of my views still stay there. But, as a feminist, well, you can figure out the rest.
  3. I hate 2 things that are very "American". Snickers bars and Barbeque sauce. Both disgust me.
  4. I have a phobia of drains. A serious one. Sink drains, shower drains and especially pool drains. I have near panic attacks when swimming near the huge deep-end pool drains. Even just typing this makes me uneasy.
  5. I can do a beer bong. I haven't done it in a few years, but I've won a few contests. I'll sign autographs later.
  6. I am a whiz at remembering people's names, but not at remembering faces. So, it rarely comes in handy. But, I am notorious for thinking I know someone and I'm wrong.
  7. The worst physical injury I've ever had was knocking out 3 teeth when I was 7 years old. No broken bones ever!
I hope all the blogs I have given this award to enjoy it. To claim your award you need to:

1. Thank the person that nominated you and link to them.
2. Pass the award on to 15 bloggers you’ve discovered and think are fantastic.

3. Contact said Blogs and let them know they've won!

4. State 7 things about yourself.

Happy blogging all!