A HUGE beginning

ABC Family's HUGE premiered last night. I blogged about it last week, and was uncertain about what was in store for this show. Weight loss camp + entire cast of overweight teens = Skepticism in my book. I couldn't help but think of that disaster of a movie, "Shallow Hal" where the moral of the story was that beauty was on the inside. Blech. Worst way to send that message EVAR! Anyway, moving on....

My first thought was that in no way would I be able to relate this. I've always been open about my own struggles with body image, but I've never been overweight. In the first scene I noticed they show the teens in roles like every other social circle and the teens make comparisons from the beginning. The defiant rebel, Wil, is the main character. She is obviously there against her wishes and makes it known. Haley is the pretty girl, thinner than the other campers, but still overweight. In the first initial meeting, another camper tells her, "Oh my god, I hate you. Just kidding. You're so skinny!"Why is it that it seems okay to tell someone they are hated, as long as it's followed by a joke and/or it's because the person is commenting that they are skinny?

Here's what threw me for a loop. I had something in common with Wil. She is a loudmouthed, eye-rolling, attitude ridden, sarcastic, too-cool-for-school type. When I used to hate myself and my body, I was the same girl. Tough exterior and sometimes mean at the expense of others (yes, me) because I was so unhappy with myself and my life. It's not a fun place to be for anyone. In fact, it's downright shitty.

In an emotional scene the girls are informed one of the campers has been asked to leave and seek psychiatric care because she was caught vomiting. As sad as this is, I was happy to see a female showcased with (what's assumed as ) an eating disorder that isn't emaciated. Binge eating disorder is the most common eating disorder and is prevalent in about 30% of those seeking weight loss treatment (Wikipedia). Good work, ABC.

I want to point out that the acting was amazing. In the world of reality shows galore, it was really a treat to watch great actors. What struck me the most was the pained expressions and feelings on these teen's faces. And it got me thinking; these teens live this in real life. In some way or another, they have been affected by society's idealistic standards and the fact that they don't fit it. I can't imagine how painful that must be. To have your life revolve around what size you are on the outside, being judged about the kind of person you are when really, the size of your heart is really what matters.

Huge is coming...

I admit that I don't watch too much TV that often anymore. I think I might be the last person in the world who doesn't have TiVo or DVR, and watching commercials makes me a bit crazy. However, upon hearing about ABC's new drama, HUGE, I was intriuged.

It's hard to form an opinion on a show merely by the one minute trailer, however, if you know me, you know I have an opinion.

From what I understant the show revolves around teenagers at a weight loss camp. The teenagers vary from overweight to obese. They deal with normal teenage problems, feelings and drama. At a weight loss camp. Oy vey.

My first problem is the question of what's with the poster with the actress, Nikki Blonsky, looking so....sad? Uncomfortable? Jaded? Scared? From what I understand, the show is promoting living a HUGE life, which if you read my blog, you know I send the same message. But, from the poster alone, I feel that they're saying, "Hey everybody! Come check out this show! We're going to pretend we're sending a great message, but selling it to you by thinking you're coming to see a train wreck".

So, I'm torn here. My battle is the question of why does this show need to be at a weight loss camp? Or day I say it (becauses I know you're thinking it) what most people still call a "fat camp"? Why couldn't it just be overweight kids at a high school, or private prep school? Aren't all the other shows about teenagers like that?  

The only reason I can think of, is that no one would watch it if it were just overweight kids in high school dealing with high school stuff. American's are obsessed with intensity. Reality shows must contain people fighting and/or hating each other (with a side of nudity, please), we love addiction shows (I readily admit I'm intruiged by the show "Hoarders"), we can't get enough of Oprah and Kirstie Alley losing and gaining weight all over the place. So, I'm not surprised at all to see a show come along like this. Honestly, part of me wants to bang my head against my computer keyboard in frustration. Sure, it's a step in the right direction to have a show on a major network in prime time showing overweight kids, but at what cost??

I can only keep my fingers crossed that it does what I hope: Shows that teenagers of all shapes and sizes have real feelings. That they are more that just overweight. Regardless of how they got there, they all have their "stuff" they are dealing with.

I'd love to hear what you think about it. What do you think it will be like? How do you think it will be viewed? What do you think about the cast? Here's the link again to the show. I'll be blogging again on Monday right after the show airs. Stay tuned...

Summer Reading list for girls!

I have received several emails from friends of mine, asking for suggested reading. Some for themselves, and lately moms are contacting me asking for books that are for their daughters- books that give a positive moral message. They're tired of their daughters having "role models" thrust in their faces that are not worthy of looking up to. Reality stars, "glitterati girls", and girls that are famous for nothing more than bad behavior and attractiveness. A couple months ago I wrote about Katherine Switzer, an amazing woman who at 20 years old paved the way for women to be able to enter and run competitive marathons. That is a woman I would love for my daughter to aspire to be like, someone strong willed, who stood up for what she believed in, and didn't let anyone get in her way.

So, I've compiled a list of books for you with the help of Tanya Lee Stone. This list is for girls ages 9-12. The links are all to Amazon, but that's merely so you can see what the books are all about. I encourage you to go to your local library and get ALL of them! Oh, the library, remember that place? I had forgotten about it too, but have recently returned and wow- it's a pretty cool place!

So, here it is, in no particular order:


"Almost Astronauts: 13 Women Who Dared to Dream" by Tanya Lee Stone.

"Thank you, Sarah" by Laurie Halse Anderson

"Claudette Colvin: Twice Toward Justice" by Philip M. Hoose

"Elizabeth Leads the Way: Elizabeth Cady Staton and the Right to Vote" by Tanya Lee Stone

"Independent Dames: What You Never Knew About the Women and Girls of the American Revolution" by Laurie Halse Anderson

"Remember the Ladies: 100 Great American Women" by Cheryl Harness

"Lives of Extraordinary Women: Rulers, Rebels, and what the Neighbors Thought" by Kathleen Krull

"Girls Think of Everything: Stories of Ingenious Inventions by Women" by Catherine Thimmesh

"33 Things Every Girl Should Know about Women's History" by Tonya Bolden

J Lo tells us the reason we should all get our pre-baby body back...

Recently, Jennifer Lopez was interviewed for  US magazine. Not the most intriguing of magazines, I know, but they do have (what I am assuming is) hundreds of thousands of subscribers, and many, many more pick it up while waiting in line at the grocery store. The cover screams, "MY BEST BODY EVER" and provides us with an eyeful of the celebrity looking happy and sultry. A look all of us mothers are apparently dying to achieve. (Insert eye roll). The article quotes Lopez as saying,"You get to the point where you're like, Where am I? What happened to me? I got to get myself together for my kids, you know? They need to know what I really look like."

Don't get me wrong; I love me some J Lo. Many times I've been running, listening to her music, shaking my butt, trying to tap into my inner Latina. But, Jesus H. Christ. "They need to know what I really look like" ?? What she really looks like? I can guarantee, that what she really looks like is not some perfectly lit, posed, professionally make-up'd, airbrushed and photoshopped celebrity. And what kind of message does this send to her children and to other mothers? Call me completely bananas-gone-crazy, but this is the message it sends to me as a mother: 

Mamas: If you've got a little or a lot of belly fat, perhaps some pesky cellulite on your thighs,

 some sag on your butt cheeks after having those babies, don't you think it's about time you show 

your kids what you looked like BEFORE you had them? So what if it's been several years and you're

 not 20 anymore. Do it for your KIDS! Get yourself together for your them. 

Clearly, I jest, and who really takes J Lo seriously anymore. But, this is nothing new. We see it and hear it daily. The "How I got my body back after baby" article is a pretty constant bombardment to us mothers. So how do we ignore it? How in the world do we squash just deal with the body image pressures after having babies? 

There are many things a woman can do about it, and it really depends on the severity of her issues. I will say a couple of things. First of all, remember this: When you decide to have a baby, your life will change permanently. Forever. For the rest of your natural life. So, count on the fact that it's pretty likely that your body will change too. For-ev-er. Am I happy about the fact that my body is different now after having 2 babies? No. By no means do I give myself a wink and a thumbs up in the mirror when my eyes fall on a part of my body that is different than it used to be. But, I'm learning to live with it. Sometimes I just sigh and have to say, "It is, what it is", then go chase my toddler or nurse my daughter (which by the way I'll take my not-so-perky-anymore breasts as a trade off for breastfeeding both of my children). Just try to keep it in perspective. We chose to have the attitudes we have about certain things. Body image is no different. We can choose to be in a place of "Oh-my-god-I-need-to-get-my-body-back-or-else-(insert worst possible fate)" or we can choose to just accept it for what it is.

Your kids don't care if you have some belly fat. They don't care if you have some cellulite. But, they do care (and listen) about how you think and talk about your body. I vowed to do my best to heal my body image issues and to not pass them on to my children, especially my daughter. I do the best I can. Sometimes I feel like that clown at the circus who spins plates on both hands, one foot, his head and his nose. Some fall off, sometimes he looks silly, but, hey, at least he's trying, right? We have a lot to deal with as mothers. Let's not beat ourselves up by comparing our bodies now to what they looked like before we had babies.

Thanks anyway, J Lo. Please don't comment anymore about that. Just keep making great movies making music that we can shake our butts to. 

Miley Cyrus at the Teen Choice Awards

I recently read an article about Miley Cyrus' "pretend pole dancing" at the Teen Choice Awards. Miley is 16 years old. I finally saw the video of the performance and although it wasn't as bad as I originally thought, but as a mother, I definitely raised an eyebrow.




This story made me think back to when I was a teenage girl growing up in suburbia. I had my first french kiss the summer before I started high school, so I must have been 14. I waited that long because I simply did not feel comfortable doing it before that. Ironically, the boyfriend I had at the time ended up breaking up with me because that's as far as I would go with him. I remember being 15 and 16 being the ages that the hormones really kicked into high gear. I believe I can speak for most girls when I say this is the time that we go bonkers in the boy-crazy department. Some are in tune to the attention they can get from boys, some are not (I wasn't). Some love the attention and seek it out to no end where as others, like myself wait a few years and then finally realize "the power". So, that being said, I suppose Miley is just doing what comes naturally to herself and along side her is her management team with their tongues wagging, nodding in agreement.

I thought about it more and really had to decide if this bothers me. As a woman, not so much, but as a mother, yes. I remember years ago, before I had kids and the whole Janet, "Miss Jackson if you're nasty" Superbowl incident happened. I saw it live and didn't think it was a big deal. So what? A boob. But now as a mom, and although I have years before I will have an impressionable young daughter (she's still in the womb as I type this), I would be peeved with Janet for this.

I never thought I would say this but here it is: When I was young--things were different. And I'm not that old. In the mid-80's our version of Miley Cyrus was Debbie Gibson and Tiffany. We had the Saved by the Bell girls, Alyssa Milano and Kids Incorporated. When they were 16, they kept their clothes on, didn't pole dance and to my knowledge, weren't hyper-sexual. What happened so quickly to change all of this?

Is this just how it's supposed to evolve? I had a friend (a guy) tell me to "lighten up" about Miley. I just feel that if we lighten up so much...what's next?

Jessica Simpson gets revenge by losing weight?

This is my first post about a celebrity. I usually avoid this because I think the sensationalizaiton of Hollywood is ridiculous and out of hand. And you probably already know how I feel about the media. But this struck me for 2 reasons. One, how my heart goes out to this girl and two, that I have done exactly what she seems to be doing.

I heard that Jessica Simpson got dumped the night before her 29th birthday by her football star boyfriend, Tony Romo. Now, backing up a little, Jessica was recently blasted for her weight a few months back and some photos emerged. These images were splashed across magazines and bloggers went crazy.

Fat? Really? When I was looking for a photo for this post, I happened to see a comment on a blog that read: "If you think she's fat, you ain't ever met a fat chick." It's amazing to me that something like this can cause so much discussion. What was she, a size 8?

A few months goes by and the news hits that she was dumped. Then while grocery shopping I saw this magazine cover while waiting in line:

I rolled my eyes and didn't pick the magazine up. But I couldn't help but think about her and what she was going through. At 29, she's probably ready to settle down and have a family. Being dumped anytime in life sucks, but this was probably a real ass kicker.

In my experience, as soon as it became a reality that my first marriage was over, my own disordered eating and exercising spiraled out of control. Part of it was depression, but most of it was not. I'll never forget about a month after my ex and I officially split, I had stopped by his parents house to wish my former mother-in-law a happy birthday. I didn't know my ex would be there and he asked if he could talk to me. I reluctantly said yes and the first thing he did was look me up and down and ask, "Have you been eating?" He looked genuinely concerned and I immediately replied, "Not much". I instantly regretted my response in that I didn't want him to feel that it was because of him. I suppose I thought the reason was because of him, but in reality looking back, it was all because of me. For a brief second I loved the concern he had about me, but 2 minutes later it was gone. And I was still left with me.

Haven't we as women all done this? Or if not, at least thought about it? A guy you're in love with dumps you and you make a pact with yourself that you are going to be the hottest, thinnest most amazing looking woman EVER! And if he dumped you for someone else, watch out! He'll want you back! ......won't he?

So upon seeing this magazine cover, I couldn't help but think of myself. I googled the story, read the magazine article online and saw a quote from her "friend" saying, “She doesn’t want to give anyone more reason to not take her seriously. She’s tired of weight being a talking point.”

Wait, what????

Yes, I think it's ridiculous that a female celebrities weight determines everything to her, and that's how it is in the real world as well, but does she really believe that she'll be taken more seriously if she is thin? Sadly, YES! The poor girl was made fun of less when she was portrayed as stupid and even did commercials capitalizing on this. But I can bet the comments of calling her fat hurt her feelings more than ever and that's when she really thought people weren't taking her seriously. Wow.

I keep reading that Jessica is coming out with a new reality show chronicling a trip across America that deals with body image. Well, I've got news for you Ms Simpson: Your first episode needs to be about your realization that losing 10 pounds in 10 days because your boyfriend dumped you is not the way to heal your body image issues. Tony Romo is not going to see you and say, "Oh man, she's so thin now. I want her back!" It doesn't work that way, and if it does, he doesn't deserve to see you naked anyway.

I hope Jessica finds peace with her body, and herself.